More Jenglish and tattoo wonderings

Please understand that I am not trying to make fun or put down the Japanese. I am pointing out the comical results of translations.  If you use Google Translate you can discover that this happens in any language. 

If we look at all of these phrases and how funny they are in translation, I wonder what the tattoos that English speaking Americans who have character/Kanji actually say. 

Think you have it rough?

I think it's Coach. Or Gucci. 

You've been warned.  

Heed the advice. 

Want to go to the gallery?

French?

May I offer you a mint?

There are anime mushrooms that seem to be the mascots for onsens. But I have no clue what they're going for here. 

It's blurry. It says "cracking at the seams. Confession will be my epitaph"

I can't make sense of this one either. 

Yes. Family game system from the 1980s. 

That must be quite a brewing process